Drabbles 101
by supernatural-Fma-junkie15
Summary: Roy and Ed are two ordinary alchemists with the most oddest moments. Join them in their adventures to keep their sanity. Roy&Ed WOOT
1. Popcorn Madness

To make up for all the time I've missed, I'm doing some drabbles here and there when I have some spare time, to show I do care.

Here we go

_POPCORN MADNESS _

Roy calmly sat on his nice soft, olive green chair. He looked around the room trying to locate his best friend, the REMOTE controller to the television!

"Roy, the microwave is being a bastard". Roy's left eye twitched as Ed's voice rang out with a terrible screech. He ignored the small blond chibi and heroically continued to search for the remote.

'_Why in the world am I doing this…I should just walk up to the TV and turn it on. DAMN I WANT THAT FREAKING BASTARD REMOTE' _he glared at the floor as he thought those words. Then he closed his eyes and groaned, _'I'm sounding like Fullmetal now'_.

"**DAMN YOU, ROY THIS MICROWAVE IS BEING A LITTLE $#& AND WON'T WORK"** profanities rang out into the air as Ed seethed none too quietly.

Roy closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. "Where are you" he whispered to himself, once again ignoring Edward. Now he was getting agitated. He had looked over the whole room and he still couldn't find his prize.. _'Maybe if I burn the room it will be in the ashes'._ A devilish smile graced Roy's features. He reached in his pocket and pulled out his gloves. Slipping them on, he swore that at least one thing in this room would become a pile of ashes.

"**_ROY GET YOU'RE A$$ IN HERE AND HELP ME"_**.

Roy's mind snapped. He spun around and charged into the kitchen. "Whine, whine, whine…that's all you do Fullmetal."

Roy saw Ed leaning over the microwave with his fist above the demonic electronic as Ed put it. He could see the popcorn through the little window of the cursed item.

"**_YOU WANT POPCORN THEN SO BE IT_". **As the words escaped Roy's lips he snapped his fingers

**BOOOM POP POP POP FWOOM ZAP BEEP BEEP BEEP **

The smoke alarm sounded off.

The air smelled of burned popcorn and fried metal.

"YOU MORON WHY THE HELL DID YO- MMMPH (gag cough)" Edward got cut off as Roy shoved a mouthful of burnt popcorn in his mouth.

"Happy? You wanted popcorn now eat it" Roy hissed

"HELL NO" Ed screamed spitting it out.

"YOU INGRATE…" Roy jumped up and pinned Ed to the ground in an attempt to make him eat popcorn. Then he noticed a shiny small object under the table. He gave a huge pearly white smile as he grabbed and kissed the remote. Ed looked confused, "What the HELL are you doing, bastard Taisa, have you lost your freakin mind?" Roy cradled the remote like a tiny baby and cooed, "Where have you been, I've missed you"

Ed pushed Roy off, "You've gone insane".

The door slammed open and two fire fighters ran into the kitchen. Popcorn was everywhere. On Ed, Roy, the floor, the wall (somehow), and every other surface.

Roy and Ed both looked up and smiled sheepishly.

"Popcorn anybody" they both echoed.

_**:P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P**_

Woot

Bacene? urf

R AND R pwease (eyes sparkle)


	2. Never Leave A Room Alone With A Chibi

Number two (trumpet sounds)

_**Never Leave A Room With A Chibi**_

The subordinates of Colonel Roy Mustang all looked up at the same time as a very evil aura filled the workroom. One name slipped into all their minds like a bad disease

_Edward Elric_

_**:P :P :P :P**_

Edward slowly plodded down the central halls toward the colonel's office. He grumbled words of torture and decapitation regarding his superior. Dark thoughts were just flourishing so badly, he swore he was emitting a deadly aura. Shrugging, he ignored that small thought and kept thinking of ways to make Roy into a cheese burger chimera.

He opened the door to Roy's subordinate's workroom.

"Hey E..Ed how are you do..doing?" Havoc stuttered slightly upon Ed's arrival. Ed side way glanced at him and gave him a leer.

"_Fine"_ Ed replied with a slight note in his voice that said, **"ASK ANOTHER QUESTION AND I'LL TURN YOU INTO A BUGER".**

Havoc slowly slinked under his desk as Edward walked by his small office section.

"Reporting Edward?" Riza asked in her formal voice. Ed nodded curtly and walked past her toward the devil's (Roy) room.

He didn't bother knocking and just slammed the door open. "Hey, bastard I'm rep-" Edward's voice slowly died before he could finish his sentence.

The colonel wasn't in his room.

Edward then realized. _'He's hiding and then going to scare me isn't he.'_ Edward scanned the room, around the desk, in the closet, inside his desk (don't ask), and behind the plant.

"Where is he?" Ed grumbled, sitting in Roy's big black leather office chair. He lazily looked over the desk again. He noticed a small folded sheet of paper on the desk. Curious he reached over and grabbed the small item. Flipping it open he read the contents.

_I am in the bathroom if you need me._

_Signed, Roy Mustang_

He looked at the paper stupefied. "Who the hell writes a note like that?"

He laid the note down and looked around the room. An evil smile played across his lips. He opened the desk drawer. Looking in he saw Roy's ignition gloves. Ed reached in and grabbed them, taking off his gloves as well. Slipping on Roy's ignition gloves he found a red sharpie on his superior's desk. Neatly drawing the transmutation on the glove to his old plain ones. He made sure the gloves looked the same before he put his for Roy's pair.

He stood up and adjusted his jacket over the gloves to make sure no one could tell. He cackled evilly, then put on a solemn face and walked out the door.

_A few minutes later_

Roy walked down the halls, hand on his stomach. '_I will never eat Hawkeye's cooking again'_. When he walked into the workroom of his subordinates he noticed Ed leaned over Havoc's desk pointing to something on a paper.

He smiled evilly. Slowly slinking over he got behind Ed, but being careful his shadow didn't cover Havoc's desk. He got as close to Ed's ear as possible and whispered seductively, "How are you doing today Fullmetal?" Ed screeched and fell over Havoc's desk on Havoc.

Roy started laughing and so did some other people in the room.

Ed bolted up from the floor and screamed, "I'LL KILL YOU". He dove for Roy, but he was already running for his office.

Ed gave chase. Roy charged in his room, ran around his desk, and got his "gloves" out of the desk putting them on. Ed, forgetting for a moment what he did earlier, paused and stared at Roy. Then he smirked, "Are you going to torch me with those?" Roy smiled arrogantly and replied, "If you're a bad little subordinate then, yes".

Ed snarled, "**_WHO YOU CALLING A SMALL ANT THAT CAN GET BURNED BY AN OVER COOKED MARSHMELLOW_**?" Roy sweat dropped.

Ed charged forward and clapped his hands together. The transmutation circle on the gloves reacted.

_**KABOOM**_

Edward's auto mail arm exploded in a huge flame.

"AHHHHHHHH HEEEEELP OH GOOOOOD" Ed was flailing his, now flaming arm, around in the air. Riza charged in with a fire distinguisher and sprayed Edward down until he was a pile of foam.

"Thanks" the foam mound jiggled with his words.

"Fullmetal, by any chance are those my gloves?" Roy asked snapping his fingers together again and again.

A small blonde head popped out of the foam, "well, they use to be until they made my arm explode and are now in a smoking oblivion".

Riza bowed then left the room smirking along the way. Secretly she always wanted to do this to someone, although she would think Roy would be the one she would do it to.

Roy laughed then sat down in his chair. "I guess it is never wise to leave a room alone with a chibi".

_**:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P**_

I think I have some exploding issues

Bacene: yep u sure do

(Glare) quiet u

R and R please


	3. CORN MUFFIN

God I am so irresponsible

I have been reading Ayumi Elric's stories and I love em

Although Edward and Mustang are belongs to me so :p

I have been trying to think up drabbles that are short, I have been having a bit of a writer's block so I'm really really sorry

Bacene: says the moron

Ed: I don't belong to anyone

T.T don't deny me Ed

Roy:…..ya what he said

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA

**_CORN MUFFINS_** (Ayumi influenced this drabble)

Edward glared daggers at the door of Colonel Roy Mustang's office.

He had been ordered to get up at 5 freakin o'clock in the morning. I mean come on wake up that early and you're not going to be a bundle of sunshine and rose petals. What do you expect, "Oh good morning colonel lets go prance in the daises and look at the sun rise". HA yeah right, more like shut the hell up and let me sleep you piece of crap before I beat you with a chair till you're unrecognizable.

As you can see Edward is not a morning person….at all.

"Bastard making me get up early" Ed walked down the hall toward the door of _DOOM. _He was about to knock on the door when he got a better idea, he'll mutilate it! He walked over to the nearest empty desk (there were a lot of them) and grabbed a chair. He walked back to the door, lifted the chair and…suddenly the door opened right when he was in mid strike.

**_WHAM_**!!!! Edward looked down to see a pile of Hughes on the floor. "Oh well" Ed responded lazily looking up.

"FULLMETAL, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ABOUT!!??" Roy screamed while flying out of his chair to his now bleeding unconscious friend.

"I said…wait…I didn't really say anything…well, sorry anyway" Ed shrugged while dropping the chair. He walked over and flopped himself on the lounge couch in the Colonel's office. Roy dragged his friend's body to the other couch opposite of Ed and laid him across it.

Edward heard the mumbles of an insane midget or something like that coming from Roy. Roy sat down in his chair and sighed rubbing his temples.

"AS you know I called you in early to…what the HELL are you doing?" Roy gave Ed a hard stare. Ed was sitting there…eating…….a corn muffin.

"Ish really good" Ed said closing his eyes while taking another bite of the muffin.

"HOW did you get THAT in my office?" Roy hissed.

Suddenly Edward's eyes bulged and he started choking. He fell to the floor clutching his neck with one hand and clutching at the air above him with the other.

"GACK MMPHF SNORT GURGLE –die-" Edward suddenly stopped moving.

Roy's eyes widened and he flew out of his chair once again. "CRAP, he needs CPR" Roy cringed but pinched Edward's nose and put his lips over Ed's.

Out of all the moments this was the time Hughes got up from being unconscious. Hughes moaned and held his head.

"Damn Roy, what….hit…..uhhhh me" Hughes was shocked. He was watching Roy kissing Ed on the floor?

Then Hughes gasped, "RAPE" then he pulled out a hidden camera, snapped a picture and ran out the door screaming rape again.

Ed's eyes suddenly snapped open and he coughed up the piece of corn muffin that he choked on. Into Roy's mouth. Roy started gagging and screaming, "CHIBI SPIT CHIBI SPIT!!!"

Edward then realized Roy had had his lips on his. Ed pointed and shaky finger at Roy screaming, "RAPE HE TRIED TO RAPE ME" Then Ed sped out the room all the way to his dorm and fell asleep on his bed.

Roy was still in his office gagging.

Hughes was running around screaming rape.

And Ed was asleep.

Yep, it's official, mornings in this office really suck and corn muffins cause too many problems.

_WOOTWOOTWOOTWOOT_

Yay I'm done I just ate…. A chocolate cookie. HA I bet you thought I was going to say corn muffin huh huh right aren't I

Ed: HE WHAT ME (points finger at Roy) RAPPPPPPPE

Roy: FOR THE LAST TIME I DID NOT

Hughes: RAPE RAPE RAPE

Why me (sigh)

Bacene: cause you are an obsessed fangirl with no life


End file.
